Posts Tagged moving
Sorry for not posting for a few days but we were getting everything moved!! And we did it! My family came through and helped get everything moved. And my friend brought us all a huge pot of delicious stew for supper! With all the help we got it all done in an evening! And the last couple of days has been spent trying to put everything away. The funny thing is that I was like so overwhelmed with getting everything back in its place and I thought I didn’t feel like this last time I moved. Then I was like duh! when I moved into the last apartment almost a year ago I had nothing! Now it’s taking me days to get everything in its proper spot! I realize how much God has provided and blessed! Even though my head is still spinning with all the activities!
Chris seems to have had virtually no adjustment problems at all. That’s a real blessing. And his chair fits perfectly in the hall…doesn’t touch at all going around the corner! That almost made me cry I was so happy it fit as that had been my foremost concern with taking this apartment. It really is perfect for us right now! It’s got the back yard with flowers already blooming that we are thoroughly enjoying every day! The basic colors are greens – that’s my favorite! (thank God it wasn’t pink! lol!) And it seems huge after the little bitty unit we were in. In that apartment I could see Chris in his bed from the kitchen! It seems very spacious and comfortable… I am a happy camper….
Chris has done remarkable really (which helps my morale). I wondered yesterday if getting him into his own room helped him feel less sick. I don’t know – just thinking…I also got to take him out on the trail in the little “park” behind the apartments. It’s a nice paved trail with trees and a frisbee golf course. It ends up at a little park with toys kids can play on. He did real well with it.
I’ve been thinking a lot about Chris. Yesterday was an exceptional day for him. He did a lot and that was great. I wonder though if he dreams in his sleep. I’ve wondered does he remember who he was. He has no sense of needing to do anything. Like he doesn’t worry about finishing school or studying or practicing…all that seems so far gone.
I’ve thought a lot about some conversations we had about how he just wanted what God wanted. And if God wanted him to sit on the porch and rock that’s what he wanted to do. He was so willing to lay aside the drums and everything else that defined who he was. He told his girlfriend that he was her Isaac and she’d have to put him on the altar. Boy, he had no idea. Some of his thoughts the last few weeks seemed so detached from life and we were very concerned about him… and now the wanting to give everything up to know God – makes sense…it hurts like hell, but it makes sense.
I am so curious to see how God is going to unfold things from here on out. Even though there have been so many changes the last week – the new vehicle (which means we can get out some ) and the new place…but we still deal with the day-to-day. Everything seems new in one sense – but I still don’t have my son back…So everything isn’t new – yet—
I have not given up hope that God will fulfil His promises concerning Chris. It’s all in the waiting from here on out…still waiting on GOd. I may read that again if I can find it in one of the boxes!! lol…
We really are moving to the east side of Norman! I am so nervous. It seems like every decision has huge risks involved…tons of questions for me today:
will Chris’ chair fit into the hall
is the appliance guy honest or am I being taken
how am I gonna pay the rent
will Chris adjust okay to a new place
It’s all out there now and I hope it’s all okay but I am so concerned.I guess I am very excited and scared all at the same time. There are times I think I am just crazy to even try…but how do you know if you don’t at least try? I worry about transferring Chris, even though I’ve done it before.. it still gives me a knot in my stomach… and dealing at the same time with the bed people and wondering how it will all turn out…it’s just scary I guess…
It’s almost like I feel guilty for wanting anything at all. And yet my main motivation was to get a bigger place and have a washer and dryer. That’s all happening today (hoping the washer and dryer work!). It’s times like these where I have had to make the decisions all alone that I feel more alone.. not sure why really. I guess I just feel the weight of the responsibility of taking care of Chris more heavily during decision-making times!
All I can do is trust.. and that’s not a bad thing really…it’s all good from there, right? But if I bit off more than I can chew and then I say I am trusting HIm… is that crazy or what? I have had peace though through all the decisions – at least until after they were made! lol! That’s when the nervous sits in.. the wondering.. the questions…sheesh! Will it never end?
Anyway – back to trust since that’s all I have really…I am finding it really is mostly a simple choice. When I trust Him things just happen like they are supposed to. And even when they don’t happen like I thought they were going to – trust is still a factor… just gotta trust that it’s all in His hands. But isn’t that the basis of faith anyway? No matter what He is…