Posts Tagged judgmental
There is a lot going on which means that my mind is working overtime to keep up. Hence, the post midnight blogging. I won’t even try to tell you all that is going on but right now things are in an upswing. Chris is doing well and making slow but steady process once again. It’s almost like he picked up where he left off last year when he started getting sick. It seems to be going much better. When he does better – my whole mindset is better. Trust me – it’s just good when it’s all on the upswing together.
I really do feel like I’m on a roller coaster much of the time; or maybe the correct analogy would be walking a tightrope where I have to keep perfectly balanced or fall to my death. Yeah, that’s what it feels like. The trouble is that I have some very good problems. Chris is doing better, up more hours of the day and needing a lot more one-on-one therapy and attention from me. He is eating good again so that consumes some time – not a complaint – just a fact. Think about all the things you do just to take care of yourself each day – eat, shower, brush your teeth, eat, go for a walk, eat again… everything I have to do for me also has to be done for him – it’s almost like it cuts my time in half to start with. Then add to that my work load which has grown which is another great problem, it’s just difficult to keep up with. And I’m about to finish up my Master’s in Health Education. 12 weeks and I’m done. Then I need to exercise and train for my races – unfortunately when I’m in a time crunch the thing I need the most – gets cut most often. So like I said, it’s a balancing act to keep it all together without losing it sometimes. (smile)
Anyway – that kind of catches you up to where we are and I hope to be a little more regular with the blogging because it helps me process my emotions and thoughts – and boy do I have a lot to process! But tonight I had something really crazy happen at the race. It was the Limbs for Life 5K and the proceeds help provide vets with prosthetic limbs. Usually there are runners with prosthetic devices and I really do not feel worthy to run with or for any of these honored individuals. There is a wheelchair division at this particular race too.
They kept telling us to stay to the right since it is an out-and-back and the wheelchairs and other runners will be returning and they will need the other side of the track. Somehow a kid got tangled up with a racing wheelchair at about one km in. The wheelchair went flying and the guy in it fell completely out. It’s a good thing he was wearing a helmet. I stood there for a minute to assess the situation. What I witnessed in the next 2 minutes was simply amazing. One lady began directing traffic and making the runners move back to the right so that they could continue moving. The mother of the child and two other people ran to the overturned wheelchair and started checking on the young man. They turned the wheelchair back upright at which time I stepped over to help steady it for them as two people picked the man up and put him back in his chair. He kept saying he was fine and he took off again. I took back off leaving the poor little boy crying in his mother’s arms. I took away a lot from this experience. One was that before Chris’ injury I’d have likely kept running with the other runners because I’d have been terrified to even think about helping. It actually was very natural for me to step over and offer assistance, although I really didn’t do anything much.
The second thing was I got mad. I was so angry that the young man in the chair could have been seriously injured because someone didn’t follow the directions. Now I do not know if the child’s mother didn’t try to keep him to the right or what happened as I did not see that part – but I got fighting mad as I thought about how negligence could have really hurt someone and almost 6 years ago my son was injured through a negligent (not purposeful) act. BUT — before we turn our noses up and pass judgment on this kid and his mother – let’s examine ourselves. How often do we go over the speed limit because we know that they won’t stop us up to 5 over – right? It’s no different. The rules and laws in most instances are made to provide protection and our carelessness or need to “get on with our agenda” can cost someone else dearly. Later I did muster up some compassion for the little guy as I know he was really frightened by the ordeal.
For my part – I surprised myself. It was so natural to step in – the race did not matter. I had no thoughts about the race until I was sure the young man was up and rolling again. I estimated we were there with him for about 2 minutes. That’s about what my final time reflected – and I still came in third in my age group and came home with a medal! I’ll try to not be so judgmental about the other guy – and concentrate more on my own character. Forgiveness many times, is an everyday thing for me. Gotta keep working on it….