Posts Tagged apartment

Simply Excited…and I don’t Even Know Why!

I am loving the new apartment! It is just perfect for us. I like having my own room – and Chris having his. It seems I can hear him fine from any place in the house. That’s somewhat because he is so much more vocal. I wonder what the neighbors think when he is making such a terrible moaning noise in the middle of the night!

His chair actually fits perfectly except I’m a little disappointed that I cannot get him  outside on the patio. I’ll just need a little ramp of some sort…eventually I guess. It seems so huge after that timy little place we’ve been in! I’m sure we’ll have it stuffed to the max soon too! It just feels good and right for now. I cannot really even try to explain that sort of excitement. But the present and the future look good. It’s pretty positive from here I think. That is some because Chris has been what I would call “awake” for more than a month now..every day – even though he has had his sleepier times, he is not in what I’ve called the brain injury fog.

Even though he is doing so well – and for that I am most thankful – it does not take away many of the thoughts and questions that surface almost daily. In just one instance all of his life, hopes, and dreams were snatched away by one miscalculation…the graduation celebration has to be put on hold while we wait to see not if he’ll walk down the ailse to reveive his much earned diploma – but now it is rather will he walk at all? It’s not about wondering where around the world he will play the drums – but will he ever be able to regain enough movement in his hands to play at all…All sorts of thoughts like that run through my mind most days – in and out – they never really stop. Even though I still happily celebrate each marked improvement, they just keep running around since the future is so unsure…

That’s where I have to find faith to make it another day. I also have to just look at the day I am given today and work with what is in my hands today. Sure, the plan is to help Chris unltimately – even in my limited knowledge of brain injuries and therapy – but not knowing what tomorrow will bring makes it difficult to set realistic goals.So I have to go back to a scripture in Psalms – it says my times are in His hands Why He has us here living through this I cannot answer – but I know that He is not only with us – we are in HIs hands and He holds the tomorrows and the todays in His hands. He is holding us…I have to believe that to keep taking steps…any steps!

In all the mix, I am just finally excited. I looked around yesterday and thought about how far we’ve come over the last 2 plus years. We lived in the hospital – then we lived in a nursing home – then he was in a nursing home and I stayed with my daughter’s friends…then finally to our own tiny apartment and now to a nice apartment that is just perfect for right now! It’s been quite the journey up to today – I can’t wait to see where we are in another couple of years…

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All Things New?

Sorry for not posting for a few days but we were getting everything moved!! And we did it! My family came through and helped get everything moved. And my friend brought us all a huge pot of delicious stew for supper! With all the help we got it all done in an evening! And the last couple of days has been spent trying to put everything away. The funny thing is that I was like so overwhelmed with getting everything back in its place and I thought  I didn’t feel like this last time I moved. Then I was like duh! when I moved into the last apartment almost a year ago I had nothing! Now it’s taking me days to get everything in its proper spot! I realize how much God has provided and blessed! Even though my head is still spinning with all the activities!

Chris seems to have had virtually no adjustment problems at all. That’s a real blessing. And his chair fits perfectly in the hall…doesn’t touch at all going around the corner! That almost made me cry I was so happy it fit as that had been my foremost concern with taking this apartment. It really is perfect for us right now! It’s got the back yard with flowers already blooming that we are thoroughly enjoying every day! The basic colors are greens – that’s my favorite! (thank God it wasn’t pink! lol!) And it seems huge after the little bitty unit we were in. In that apartment I could see Chris in his bed from the kitchen! It seems very spacious and comfortable… I am a happy camper….

Chris has done remarkable really (which helps my morale). I wondered yesterday if getting him into his own room helped him feel less sick. I don’t know – just thinking…I also got to take him out on the trail in the little “park” behind the apartments. It’s a nice paved trail with trees and a frisbee golf course. It ends up at a little park with toys kids can play on. He did real well with it.

I’ve been thinking a lot about Chris. Yesterday was an exceptional day for him. He did a lot and that was great. I wonder though if he dreams in his sleep. I’ve wondered does he remember who he was. He has no sense of needing to do anything. Like he doesn’t worry about finishing school or studying or practicing…all that seems so far gone.

I’ve thought a lot about some conversations we had about how he just wanted what God wanted. And if God wanted him to sit on the porch and rock that’s what he wanted to do. He was so willing to lay aside the drums and everything else that defined who he was. He told his girlfriend that he was her Isaac and she’d have to put him on the altar. Boy, he had no idea. Some of his thoughts the last few weeks seemed so detached from life and we were very concerned about him… and now the wanting to give everything up  to know God – makes sense…it hurts like hell, but it makes sense.

I am so curious to see how God is going to unfold things from here on out. Even though there have been so many changes the last week – the new vehicle (which means we can get out some ) and the new place…but we still deal with the day-to-day. Everything seems new in one sense – but I still don’t have my son back…So everything isn’t new – yet—

I have not given up hope that God will fulfil His promises concerning Chris. It’s all in the waiting from here on out…still waiting on GOd. I may read that again if I can find it in one of the boxes!! lol…

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