It’s not the Caregiving that makes me Tired

Ugh, what a day! You just gotta give it to caregivers, you know? There are so many things that have to be done in a day. Primarily, we take care of our loved one, but we get no break from the common everyday chores like laundry, cooking, and cleaning to do so. Then there are all sorts of other things like making sure all the supplies like syringes, briefs, wipes, formula and medical supplies are filled and ready to go. Plus…yes there’s more…taking our loved one to their appointments and dealing with various medical professionals (and non-professionals) that frequently visit our homes.

Anyone who is in contact with me very much knows how difficult of a time I’ve had getting aides lately. I posted a picture of the aide who was comfortable enough to stretch out in my recliner and take a nap – he’s no longer with us. But now I have an aide who comes right on time every day (that’s a plus); and she does Chris’ laundry and helps with housework for which I am very thankful. But she’s not comfortable staying with Chris – which means I get out of the house very rarely now. I have a horrible case of cabin fever now so everything seems much more stressed than usual. I’m seriously thinking about going with no aide at all. I’m back to ordering everything online since I cannot get out to go to the store. Sure, the aide can “get out” and run errands for me – but there are some things I really would prefer to purchase myself. I really need out!!!

Then there are the “case managers” who cannot get my supplies right! For instance, last month I asked if we could increase Chris’ briefs from 2 and a half cases to 3 as I am having to purchase some each month. She told me it’d be no problem at all. Guess what I got this month… only 2 cases of briefs – (which means I’ll have to purchase MORE this month to get through) and double gloves! I have stacks of gloves (non-latex) so let me know if you need some! lol —

These may not seem like very big deals – but they all add up. I love taking care of my son and even though I get tired, his care is not what wears me out. I really would like to earn enough money to take care of all these supplies myself I think . But that’s another whole area of stress!

I’m beginning to think that there is seriously something wrong with me. It’s got to be – I didn’t think I was that difficult to work with.. all the more reason to stay retreated in my cave. Maybe I need a sign on the door that says, “Does not play well with others.”

When I grow weary like today I always think of the scripture in Isaiah 40:28 Don’t you know that the Lord is the everlasting God, the Creator of all the earth? He never grows faint or weary. No one can measure the depths of His understanding. He givepower to those who are tired and worn out; He offers strength to the weak.(NLT)

Tonight I will be the first to admit I am tired, worn out and weary. I will trust Him for strength to carry on. I am so glad that even when I wear out all the health care professionals – He will not get too tired to deal with me. He will not shake His head and walk away – He’s committed to walking through this journey with me – just like I’m committed to walking through it with my son too.

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