It has seriously amazed me how God has provided for us along the way. Initially when Chris was injured, people overwhelmingly gave. I knew that there would be a day that it would slow down or stop and I began to prepare myself even while we were still staying in the hospital to work online. It took some time and patience but eventually it all opened up. There are still some who give faithfully every month – and some who don’t. I’ve also worked my backside off trying to get and keep clients and students. I was highly motivated by a statement that went something like this: tears will get you sympathy, but sweat will get you success. I decided to work rather than cry about the situation.
I guess what really got me to thinking today was the propaganda and talks about the government shut-down. Chris gets an SSI check that helps out with the rent and buys a lot of his supplies. I had this fearful thought about what I would do if he stopped getting the governmental help. I have already worked myself off foodstamps and don’t intend to ever use them again! I had this fear slip up on me today just thinking about where I’d find extra cash for the things he needs. Then I took a deep breath and thought about all the creative ways that God has provided for us on this journey. Why worry?
Of course the flip side of that is – keep working! And that’s why I am up so late tonight writing this blog. I have been setting some goals for each day and today I fell behind a bit. Some of that was because one of my clients failed to inform me of the additional work load I’d have this month. Then she all of a sudden realized she’d have to have a press report before midnight to be on schedule.. so I cranked a short one out for her. I was also distracted today. I occasionally have days where I grieve over the loss of Chris more than other days. Today was one of those days — I just miss him. Still. When the Saints game came on I was asking him if he remembered playing with the NSU band one time. They got to play the halftime show. I remember seeing some pictures – I also remember he was so excited. I wonder if he can remember stuff like that…who knows?
Anyway – I’m up because I met my goals for today including a good workout in my bedroom turned gym. But 5 comes really early so I better get to bed. I’ll just have to see if the government shutdown affects us or not tomorrow. It really won’t matter though because they are not our provider – God is!
Sometimes I don’t think people realize that the situation we live in. On one hand it’s like living in a medical emergency situation or a hospital all the time. At least a place where attention is necessary 24/7. On the other hand we are at home and we must deal with all the same issues as everyone else like keeping the lights on, having enough food or gas for the car. And add to that – I work at home. Many think that it is great and it does have some advantages. But some really don’t realize that this means I pretty much work all the time – there’s no “going home” from work. No wonder I’m tired! lol…
Well, I am really going to sleep now. But I will rest for the next few hours knowing that I am in His hands…even in the furnace.