I say it’s just another day, but it’s really not been too bad of a day. I finished up a work project early this morning and got started on school assignments. Sometimes I am not sure just why I am going to the expense and time to get a Masters, but I’m in too deep now. I wonder if it will do me any good or if I’ll just be paying off school loans for the rest of my life.
The last few weeks have been filled with craziness, not sure why. I have had to make several phone calls trying to get all of Chris’ supplies. Trust me when I say it’s a long story – and thank me for sparing all the details! It’s just one more hassle that really should not get so out of hand. The funny (not haha funny either) thing is that next week when they come to do the eval for Advantage they will be all concerned about me having caregivers’ burnout. The real heart of that matter is that if they would just do their job and relieve me of having to make all these crazy calls I wouldn’t be as likely to get burnout! Sheesh…
Overall my emotions seem to be a little better grounded and I have got a couple of runs in this week so far. My half marathon is Sunday and I am really excited. But before that I also get to attend a meeting with people who are organizing a 5K. It’s a really cool local ministry who really desire to make a difference. They decided to host a 5K each fall and use the profits to help a family or person in need. This year – the first year – I get to be the honoree. I’m still kind of in shock that anyone even remembered me here in the cave. It is really cool to see people actually put some effort behind what they believe instead of sitting up in church just talking about it. Here’s the link to the video that they made when they surprised me with the news. Surprise A 5K!
Chris just continues to improve slowly- all I can say is that I am thankful that he continues to improve. there are some days that are more difficult than others – but all days are difficult. I’m kind of in an interesting spot. I totally trust God has this in His hands, in His heart. But sometimes I really wonder about it all. You know the whys and what for’s. I’ve pretty much given up on all the dreams I thought I had at one time and really the most difficult part of that is the fact that I really thought He had placed those dreams in me. To watch them die – or even assist them in dying has been difficult as well. But I feel like I have to move on with whatever I have right now. We’ll see how things turn out.
It’s funny how people view me at this stage in my life. I thought I’d be a singer or songwriter, maybe even a poet or a regular old writer. I am actually working on that – even have a new website up, but people see me as a caregiver… but that’s not who I am. I’m not sure who I am anymore, but I am sure that there’s so much more to me than a caregiver.I don’t mind being a caregiver or being known that way – but I do hope some will take the time to see past that and see who I am – see my heart.
Well, another day down and I still trust Him – guess that’s a pretty good place to be!