Today was an interesting day. Chris is still eating good so that helps me keep my chin up. He is also more aware of his surroundings and a little more interactive. I just want him better NOW! but that for sure is not happening fast. It’s very easy to lose hope as we struggle just to keep walking through this journey. But today there was a small ray of hope.
My sister and brother-in-law found a good deal on a standing frame online. They got it and brought it to us today! I can’t wait until tomorrow. I know that he is ready to begin this part of his recovery. Of course whenever anything new comes up there are all these doubts and fears that come to mind. Will I be able to help him stand with it? What if he falls? Does he have enough torso control to try to stand and how will I be able to help him? What if I hurt him? …and so on. The questions come at my mind like crazy. But that’s nothing too new as they always occur with every little bit of change.
I had the same types of questions about feeding him too. But I bit it off and don’t give him any breaks anymore and he’s doing great! I suppose it will be the same thing with the standing frame..and with getting him out more. I shake just the same..but it’s got to be done. That means I just have to suck it up and go ahead anyway. So tomorrow will dawn with a small bit of hope – the first day I use the standing frame (with the aide’s help of course) – to help Chris begin to stand once again.
I often wonder how much of this parallels the body of Christ. I really think we have been largely incapacitated by the sins we allow to continue in the body; complicated by the lack of love and the way we treat anyone different than ourselves. As I stretch Chris I wonder if God has to perform the same types of things for us to get us to move each morning – in a spiritual sense. This morning as I was working with his legs to get him out of the bed I had several thoughts about how God must need to slowly and patiently stretch us to get us moving too. We have lost mobility because we do not honor the head. Of course we honor the “head” of the body as if it were the pastor or apostle. But they are not the head of the body of Christ – He is! This can leave us unable to move because we have a different head! My prayer is that He will patiently stretch us and work with us until we can move once again.
Overall it was not too bad of a day. I am tired…but I feel like I have refocused and can get on from where I am. We will see what tomorrow brings…but I face it with small bits of hope.