I have a terribly wonderful problem! Actually it’s two-fold and causing me to really have to get it together. I picked up a third client to write for…that means my work load has really increased. That is the wonderful part because the more I write, the faster I complete projects the more money I can make. Then there are days like yesterday where I just get bogged down in the emotions of the situation and have such a diffcult time nailing down discipline! And I was really tired too…that was a terrible combination that worked against me!
I have to figure out how to discipline myself even through the stress of each day. I’m sure if I get hungry enough it will motivate me to work harder! lol!
The other side of the “problem” that has a positive aspect as well – is that Chris is getting better. He’s awake longer through the day and much more aware of his surroundings. I don’t want to sit at the computer all day and miss working with him like he needs…Add that together and then I stress out — then nothing gets done lol!
It’s really become a balancing act. I work awhile then feed Chris, let him rest a few minutes while I work on a project. Then I stretch his arms (which he seems to actually like) then while he rests for awhile I work some more.. and that goes on pretty much all day! It’s like living in a three ring circus!!
But over all – even when I am totally stressed out – I am excited about getting some work. It’s taken me well over 2 years to find a way to do it up right. It offers me the freedom to dream just a tiny bit. Because if I can work online – I can live anywhere. And it seems that when I feel that freedom the situation doesn’t seem so binding. However, I will also admit that I am not allowing myself the liberty of dreaming yet…it’s far too dangerous! After having all my dreams stripped away in moment it makes me nervous to think about it any more. And it’s seemed impossible…to dream…so I won’t. But I have prayed that the Lord will restore the dreams that HE dreamed for me and Chris too. I pray that those He will restore… and I can just let my own dreams go…
I must trust Him for each day.. as it comes..and goes…so I will continue to do so.. while I say a quick prayer of thanksgiving for His provision… then gotta get to typing!!