Half My Weekend Down!

It’s funny how I dread the weekends sometimes. I have to plan ahead to beat the emotional dips that usually occur. So far I have kept my head above water this weekend. I’m not sure why the loneliness can grab ahold so much easier on the weekend. Then I get easily sucked in under the other emotional currents and it’s a tough swim to try to get out! I think it may be since I rarely see anyone on the weekends. Occasionally it’s different but for two whole days I don’t see anyone and talk to very few people…

I have actually really missed church the last couple of days… not the religious side, but church as the whole get together I guess. Maybe some of it is just the interaction with others, or the corporate worship experience…I don’t know. But I do know that there are some things I am learning about God that are better than church. I’m beginning to see HIm in a very different way – I love Him more – and I wouldn’t trade that for church any ole day!

Chris is having his “awake” cycle. He is doing really good and I am pushing him more. I hope he stays in this part of the cycle for longer periods of time…his alertness and progress makes the sleepier days more difficult to handle…But for now his progress helps me keep going on…

I have conquered half of the weekend and so far still above float. I took a more proactive approach. I have lists of things I can do so if there is a lag I can check the list and hopefully try to motivate myself to get something done. Never mind the dangers of becoming a workaholic! lol! And I have turned Skype back on. I got to Skype with a good friend today from Louisiana. I’m actually thinking of scheduling a trip down this fall to catch up with friends and catch a couple of my old hiking trails that I used to enjoy so much…

Speaking of getting out – I know I have got to figure out a way to get out at least a little more. The two hours on M-F are great and so very beneficial. But I need some “i gotta get outa here for a while” time… I figured that out when I was planning on going to my brother’s on Monday. My niece is having her 9th birthday party! I figured I would see if Chris’ dad could sit with him for a few hours so I could go. I knew that I could take Chris with me if Ronnie couldn’t sit with him. So it wasn’t whether or not I was going – it was if we were going or I was going. When Ronnie texted me back to say he could sit with Chris I nearly cried! That’s when I realized I’m going to have to figure out a way to get out a little more for things like a movie or a good day hike… it’s the logistics that are the trouble… coupled with the fact that I almost won’t ask for help!!

I am studying Job again for a project I’m working on. I started looking at it again today and I was reading through the first part of the first chapter. I thought about how awesome it would be for God to call us “upright and blameless” in all our ways…then I remembered that Job wrote the book! lol! I thought about his over inflated ego for a minute. But then I thought about the confidence that he had in God that he could recognize and say that he was blameless before HIm! I want to get to that place. I ‘m a hard cookie it seems but I am just learning to let my situation break me until I fall to pieces in Him…there’s just something about knowing HIm and who we are in Him (including blameless)…that’s worth it all… somehow…

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