A Quiet Week

This has indeed been a very quiet week. Chris seems to be a lot more awake the last couple of days. He is really responsive and responding to the “therapy” stuff I am trying to do. He is moving more on his own…I say all this because these are all factors that help or hinder my overall attitude!

We’ve been trying to walk in the park almost every day. Yesterday was too windy so it didn’t work out. Today we did and he was very much awake for it for a change. He was really watching people more than usual. These walks are really good for me…but can have some trouble spots. It’s still just difficult to watch young men Chris’ age play frisbee golf and such while I am pushing my silent son through the park. I keep thinking I will get used to it…but I haven’t.

I keep wishing he had his mind more about him and could express himself more. I so want him to talk..it’s like it’s right there sometimes. I think if he was more mentally with it and maybe could speak we could handle the physical limitations…but anyway…

Sometimes I do pretty good and sometimes my emotions try to swallow me up. There are times I feel very safe here in my personal cave..and other times I am so lonely…Some days the television is my friend and others it just gets on my nerves!!

I know for today I enjoyed Chris being here…he’s on this cyclical thing where he’s wide awake for a few days then he sleeps for a few days…I like the wide awake and alert days…he does more in general. The emotions still press in on me many days trying to get me to give up and accept this as the end …the best it will get…but I just can’t do that. I know it defys all reason – but there’s just something inside that even when I am worn out and emotionally spent – just cannot give up and quit. I must believe what He promised..I can’t say that I can call it true and pure faith…it’s kind of more like pure fact and there is no other way…

He is faithful no matter what I see or feel.. or whether I even believe or not…period. I just trust Him.. I’m too tired to do anything else tonight! Keep the faith – it will keep you…

Oh – here’s a picture of us in the park this afternoon.. I am trying to capture those moments he is really “there”…they’ll help me get through the next sleepy season!

Afternoon in the park

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  1. #1 by Jeannie Brown on May 27, 2011 - 12:10 am

    Be strong in the Lord and in the power of His might!!!! Meditate upon the Lord both day and night, and you shall have good success. Forget not what He said over you, what He has spoken, prophesied, and what you have received by the laying on of hands. Be of good courage; God is not mocked, but is a rewarder of them that diligently seek Him. In all things, give thanks unto the Lord your God Who is your very present help in time of need.

    Like

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