Don’t worry – this isn’t a rant or a sob story! I learned from the support groups and what little research I’ve done that the journey to recovery with a brain injury can go back and forth. I have really seen that in Chris’ progress. I used to get really upset on the “back” days and excited on the “forth” days! And I do still get really excited in those “forth” moments.
It is pretty much like Chris will go way out there and show me what he is really capable of…and then go back into the funk. However, there are several things that I find real encouraging about all that. For one thing – he’s coming out further and further all the time and staying there for longer periods of time. Then he does slip back into sleepy-mode; but it’s never that deep funk that you cannot get him out of. Actually, he’s pretty easy to wake up and it’s generally at least enough for him to give me the “go to Gehenna” look or grunt at me in obvious displeasure — both of which are also great signs of progress!
He did some amazing things yesterday! For one, I pulled out his percussion bag to see what all was in it. He watched intently as I pulled out each item. Then he actually hit the cowbell with a drum stick! That’s a first! He would try to hit the drum pad with it but never quite got it accomplished – but he got that cow bell, as well as the wood block yesterday! …then he literally slept all day today! …I’m kinda used to it now and kept myself busy working today. That was handy since I presently have several projects due for my clients.
I try not to let my thoughts go backwards. I try to use my effort to just live today. I have even been able to go through a couple of his boxes the last few days. It’s a little easier, I do it in real small pieces so it’s not overwhelming. But then of course it doesn’t take too much to tip the emotional cart either…and if I let it get tipped it takes me a few minutes to gather myself back up so I can get back to work…maybe it will get easier later…who knows?
I’ve made some personal decisions over the last couple of weeks too. I am getting a little more serious about running and training. It’s helping me make some decision regarding my own personal diet. I have also started walking Chris in the afternoons now that the weather is nicer. We walk through the park behind the house. It’s hilly so pushing him is a good workout for me. Speaking of that – yesterday was very interesting. I met some lady there. Here name was Nancy. I double checked my phone later to see if I did really have a new number entered under “Nancy in the park.” It was kinda unreal – but pleasant.
She gave me a flyer for an organization that is located right here in Norman. They are an activity center for adults with disabilities… I may be able to take Chris there at some point…she actually volunteers there. She’s one of those talkers that just has you talking and she’s talking and you feel like you’ve known her all along! We probably talked for about 15 minutes and then exchanged phone numbers…
But the cool thing really caught me off guard. Just before we parted ways – this stranger gave me a gentle hug…an element that is really missing in my life. I generally get hugs from Ronella and Eli on Mondays and Fridays – but no personal touch other than that. I didn’t realize how I missed the simple, casual human touch…
So I will continue to embrace the moment – live in it to the fullest since you never know what the next one might bring. That’s what I talked about in one of myother blogs today…For now – I will run this race well, at least the best I can for this moment with what I have right now. And I will run with endurance considering Him – the author and finisher of my faith…He will never fail.