I am not even too sure how to begin this post…it’s just been a strange, yet emotional, day…so far. Chris doesn’t seem to feel well and that always causes my emotions some strain. He’s terribly sleepy, but I remember giving him a Benadryl last night so that could be some of it. He has kept a low-grade fever though too..no cough – nothing apparent, just a fever.
So this morning when I got up I sat down with my cup of coffee. I actually sat in the floor situated where I could see my bird feeder that’s just off the patio. Questions were running through my mind like crazy…so many whys and why nots… You see, I’m supposed to start reading Luke now according to my little reading through the Bible in alphabetical order thing I am doing…but I just don’t want to read Luke; then Matthew…
I know it’s filled with all the stories of the healings Jesus did and just to be honest – it troubles me when I do not see Him do the same for my son…and that’s when all the questions started rolling through my mind. The old familiar frustrations were back – why would Jesus heal the one man with the withered hand and not my son’s hand…you know the drill! lol!
I know all the Bible stories too – you know how God went in to Egypt to get His people out and in the process He did all these might works…I can’t doubt them really, but for a minute I just wanted to ask if they were real…did they really happen? How do we know? Why did we need to know them, if He isn’t going to do the same today? Would He come after me?
Then I thought about all the nations He wiped out…for what purpose? He is not so egocentric that He needed to wipe out those who don’t believe in Him to protect Himself…They didn’t bow down to Him…was that it? I can’t imagine serving a God (or a god) who feels the need to wipe out races of people because He’s afraid of them..can you?
Now I would never say I want to be like a harlot…but Rahab comes to mind. The residents of Jericho knew the Children of Israel would come and destroy them. She believed in God against her whole city…and she was spared. What about all the other Jerichoians? Couldn’t they have joined with her beliefs?
Just about the time my frustrations were getting the better of me (and I haven’t even shared all the latest on the doctor/nurses craziness I’ve endured… the recent cracks Chris has been dropped through.. the day-to-day stuff that led to this moment of insanity!!!)…This sole dove landed in the back yard…just one of them – and they are usually in pairs, but I have this one that comes to eat by itself.
The dove landed and it caught my attention. I just looked at it and wondered about the dove being symbolic of the Holy Spirit because of the way He descended on Christ when He was baptized by John the Baptist…and I just began to pray… here are the words to my prayer: