This week is just messed up! First of all, I haven’t got to run yet since I did that funky pull thing on Saturday. It’s better and I was going to run today but then the aid called in which means I don’t get today to do my scheduled errands or run. That only leaves two days to run this week at best. I’ll have to figure out which is more important running or errands!
I am glad that I am a good organizer. I can usually get all my weekly errands done and log my miles. I do get tired of looking at my watch all the time. Some day I want to go to WalMart and just look and get all the things I need. As it is I am on such a tight time schedule I get just what I need and then if I have any time left I can check out prices and other stuff like that that needs to be done at WalMart! Don’t get me wrong – I appreciate the opportunity. I really don’t know what i would end up doing if she didn’t come.
It’s kind of funny the things that seem to be different in my new world. There are so many things we take for granted even in our everyday lives. We do not think about how it could be snatched away with one phone call, one miscalculation on the part of another totally unrelated individual…and our lives are changed, destroyed, lost…yet we continue to live each moment like the next will remain the same…but there is really no guarantee…unless you give yourself a false sense of security. I do trust the Lord…and I know that whatever might come He will see me through.
I don’t sit around worrying about if something bad will happen. There’s no wringing of my hands and glancing out the door or jumping when the phone rings!! There’s not a dread or unhealthy phobias going on… just a sincere thankfulness for this moment.
As the Lord has begun the process of restoration and blown my mind with all He’s done, I just look around and am thankful. when I got the first little apartment I had almost nothing. People began to give and give…and give until the place was packed full! Now we have moved into a larger apartment and it’s still full! I am so thankful for all He’s provided…but I am not clinging to one item! I realize you never know what a day will bring and if it is all gone again tomorrow…I’m okay with it…I have my stuff, but my stuff doesn’t have me! It’s kinda nice like that really.
So my week is thrown off – no running times yet and no aid today which means no errands today. Last night was a bottom out night. I can’t explain how I get swallowed up like that…and it’s such a difficult climb to try to overcome it. But it’s too frustrating to let it have me! so I fight…today is better. I can’t explain it – but it’s better. I have new strength and courage to work with Chris again today. There are some “therapy” things I am going to try today…we’ll see what we get…if anything.
I can’t express how thankful I am right now for His watch care over our spirits. I love the fact that no matter what happens in this fleshly world …living in time…nothing – absolutely nothing– can touch the eternal part of us! That means Chris is in good hands even though he is temporarily gone from me…his spirit is fine. Who God made him is still intact…today I’ll try to rest in that.