My head is playing games with me. It happens a lot more on the weekends I think. The aid doesn’t come and other than maybe a phone call from my mom I won’t even speak to anyone or hear another’s voice for the two days. That gets weird on me. I am a very social person by nature and especially on Sundays the alone-ness can engulf me. I had actually planned on pushing Chris down to a church on Lindsey street this morning. But I found out this week that they moved from the strip mall to another location…busted! Oh well….it looks like I am really meant to walk alone sometimes I just pray I can do it with grace.
I miss going to the movies, having coffee with friends and chatting about work and school. I really miss impromptu Bible studies over coffee and sharing about all the things He’s doing in our lives…I miss long bike rides and I really miss hiking and exploring new trails! I miss going to church, hanging out for lunch with friends afterwards or heading out to grab a quick hike before evening services. I miss going to the gym to work out.
I miss going shopping for new shoes or clothes. And I miss going shopping for groceries (or anything) without having to be back home by 10 because that’s when the aid goes home. I miss meeting new people on the job… I even miss having a job! I miss Tae Kwon Do too. I miss planning day trips just for fun…and going to the zoo just because I want to. I miss taking cool pictures of nature.
I miss my life…
And there are things that I like about my new life. I like my new apartment, and my itty bitty back yard! I like that I got to plant some vegetables in the little spot! I have found I enjoy running. Cooking is new to me again and experimenting is fun. I’m also glad that I’ve learned a lot about true friendship and I hope I can be a better friend to others down the road…
I am glad I live near my family again and get to see them a little more. I am REALLY glad to live near my daughter and get to spend time with her… and there’s not much I enjoy more right now that playing and loving on my grandson!
I guess with life there are always goods as well as bads. It’s up to us to adjust to them accordingly so that we can handle both even when they are extreme! I really do miss parts of my life…and the one I have now isn’t all bad…it’s just way different. I will figure out how to adjust to being alone so much. I’m going to have to…
My advice to you is to enjoy your life today – it’s the only today we are ever going to have. Live each day to the fullest as you never know when it could all be ripped away…so enjoy!
From the Furnace 
#1 by Vickie Bragg on April 30, 2011 - 5:48 am
This touches me deeply. I have heard this said more than once and it makes me sad that people have become so self absorbed. We are all guilty of that to some extent. I believe we all know someone that would enjoy some company once in a while…it simply takes becoming more attentive to the needs around us and moving toward those we sense the Holy Spirit nudging to.
LikeLike
#2 by Jeanie Olinger on April 30, 2011 - 7:35 am
You are very correct my friend! I am guilty as charged as well. I know that I really have to guard against being “self-absorbed” too. When I realize I am slipping into it I try to make a few phone calls to others and “check on” them. It helps me break out of that mentality. It’s easy to sit here and not think about the rest of the world since I largely cannot participate with them… it’s really easy to become comfortable in my little cave…It is something that we all deal with on some level. I am so glad that Jesus wasn’t self-absorbed! He loved..He came..He gave… I pray I can get to that same place in Him!
Thanks for sharing my friend, and thanks for reading!
love ya,
jeanie
LikeLike