Simply Excited…and I don’t Even Know Why!

I am loving the new apartment! It is just perfect for us. I like having my own room – and Chris having his. It seems I can hear him fine from any place in the house. That’s somewhat because he is so much more vocal. I wonder what the neighbors think when he is making such a terrible moaning noise in the middle of the night!

His chair actually fits perfectly except I’m a little disappointed that I cannot get him  outside on the patio. I’ll just need a little ramp of some sort…eventually I guess. It seems so huge after that timy little place we’ve been in! I’m sure we’ll have it stuffed to the max soon too! It just feels good and right for now. I cannot really even try to explain that sort of excitement. But the present and the future look good. It’s pretty positive from here I think. That is some because Chris has been what I would call “awake” for more than a month now..every day – even though he has had his sleepier times, he is not in what I’ve called the brain injury fog.

Even though he is doing so well – and for that I am most thankful – it does not take away many of the thoughts and questions that surface almost daily. In just one instance all of his life, hopes, and dreams were snatched away by one miscalculation…the graduation celebration has to be put on hold while we wait to see not if he’ll walk down the ailse to reveive his much earned diploma – but now it is rather will he walk at all? It’s not about wondering where around the world he will play the drums – but will he ever be able to regain enough movement in his hands to play at all…All sorts of thoughts like that run through my mind most days – in and out – they never really stop. Even though I still happily celebrate each marked improvement, they just keep running around since the future is so unsure…

That’s where I have to find faith to make it another day. I also have to just look at the day I am given today and work with what is in my hands today. Sure, the plan is to help Chris unltimately – even in my limited knowledge of brain injuries and therapy – but not knowing what tomorrow will bring makes it difficult to set realistic goals.So I have to go back to a scripture in Psalms – it says my times are in His hands Why He has us here living through this I cannot answer – but I know that He is not only with us – we are in HIs hands and He holds the tomorrows and the todays in His hands. He is holding us…I have to believe that to keep taking steps…any steps!

In all the mix, I am just finally excited. I looked around yesterday and thought about how far we’ve come over the last 2 plus years. We lived in the hospital – then we lived in a nursing home – then he was in a nursing home and I stayed with my daughter’s friends…then finally to our own tiny apartment and now to a nice apartment that is just perfect for right now! It’s been quite the journey up to today – I can’t wait to see where we are in another couple of years…


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