We really are moving to the east side of Norman! I am so nervous. It seems like every decision has huge risks involved…tons of questions for me today:
will Chris’ chair fit into the hall
is the appliance guy honest or am I being taken
how am I gonna pay the rent
will Chris adjust okay to a new place
It’s all out there now and I hope it’s all okay but I am so concerned.I guess I am very excited and scared all at the same time. There are times I think I am just crazy to even try…but how do you know if you don’t at least try? I worry about transferring Chris, even though I’ve done it before.. it still gives me a knot in my stomach… and dealing at the same time with the bed people and wondering how it will all turn out…it’s just scary I guess…
It’s almost like I feel guilty for wanting anything at all. And yet my main motivation was to get a bigger place and have a washer and dryer. That’s all happening today (hoping the washer and dryer work!). It’s times like these where I have had to make the decisions all alone that I feel more alone.. not sure why really. I guess I just feel the weight of the responsibility of taking care of Chris more heavily during decision-making times!
All I can do is trust.. and that’s not a bad thing really…it’s all good from there, right? But if I bit off more than I can chew and then I say I am trusting HIm… is that crazy or what? I have had peace though through all the decisions – at least until after they were made! lol! That’s when the nervous sits in.. the wondering.. the questions…sheesh! Will it never end?
Anyway – back to trust since that’s all I have really…I am finding it really is mostly a simple choice. When I trust Him things just happen like they are supposed to. And even when they don’t happen like I thought they were going to – trust is still a factor… just gotta trust that it’s all in His hands. But isn’t that the basis of faith anyway? No matter what He is…