2 Down – Several to go!

While I was running this morning I realized I’ve actually met a couple of the goals I just set not too long ago. I wanted to get a 2BR apartment for us complete with washer/dryer hookups, sell Chris’ truck and buy a car so I could transport him…then in a year I want to make too much money to be on any type of assistance.  Then I want to buy a house. Those are some of my main goals.

So I am sorting through things while I am running and I realize I have to get moved this week. Actually that date has been moved up. I pick up the key Monday so I can start the arduous task of getting my address changed now! I’m not moving everything until Thursday though…

Then this week, my nephew bought Chris’ truck and my daddy made arrangements for a car. Actually that all happened in a day with me just sitting here in my house. It was kind of dizzying! I cried that night though because I felt like I’d betrayed Chris. I want to keep everything just like he left it, but it’s just not reasonable. I know he’s not going to just wake up and be “ok”…and it seems like I am giving in a little when I start messing with his stuff. But it’s the best decision to make with what I am working with. I have to be able to get him out…

So two goals down! Oh! And my rent went way up since I made more last year! lol! I wasn’t quite ready for that.. but it’s okay – I’m on my way out!

I desperately need to find a washer and dryer by Thursday though or I’m really gonna be in a bind as there isn’t a laundry at the new place…

So yesterday I got Chris out for the first time in our new car. We were both exhausted when we got home! I am not sure we (I) was quite ready! I am not going to push that issue.. maybe one tiny outing a week for a little while.

My emotions are all over the place. I have new financial responsibilities now and am pressed to do more work online. I have been looking and am actually finding some new options. It’s very scary not having a “job” and knowing what is coming in. It’s kinda like jumping off a cliff…all I can do is trust Him. That doesn’t make it any less scary…but courage isn’t courage if it’s not in the face of fear!

I’m seeing this journey like training for a marathon… it goes on and on and I get a little stronger as I go. There are some things that I just won’t put up with anymore. I’m getting more outspoken (scary I know!) and less tolerant of foolishness. Some of that comes with age I am sure too! lol!

I still have to take one day at a time…trying to balance caring for Chris with ministry and work is quite the juggling act…but I am determined to do it. I gotta climb outa this hole.

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