Not really! I have just been exploring several different avenues for this new home-made therapy program I am developing for Chris. (sheesh – it almost sounds like I have a clue what I am doing! lol!) Today I hooked up his computer and piled up in his room with him and listened to a bunch of his music…he was wide awake like he was really thinking. I am not sure what he thought about hearing his own voice…
I started crying when I heard his music. Don’t think I could have stopped it either…Especially because one of the phrases in one of his last songs was “I want to sing again”…yip, that’s the one that did it to me…that’s why I say maybe I’m gonna need therapy! lol! – you know I’m kiddin’!!
He seems to be coming around and although that is a really good thing and makes for a good day it also catapults me into an “uh-oh what-do-I-do-with-this” mode. I don’t want to offer too much stimuli and have him going back to sleep on me! But I don’t want to waste a second of alertness if there’s something we can be working on!
And now there’s the decision about therapy. Is he ready? Do I need to wait longer? What if I call and they say, “No.”? You see how the questions start racking up in my brain! I really have to trust that what I sense is correct and start calling them. Maybe they can help him be more mobile.
James 1 tells us that if we ask for wisdom He will give it. It’s just a blunt out-there statement. I must trust that He will give me the wisdom to know what to do about all the situations we are dealing with. Proverbs 2:6 also says the Lord gives wisdom out of His mouth comes knowledge and understanding. So this is where I must trust my heart in His.
It’s funny because my emotions seem to parallel my running once again. I signed up for a 10K and I’ll be racing Saturday. I’ve been training and getting ready but still this morning while I was running I was like – dude, that’s 6.2 miles – and it’s a race! What were you thinking? Anticipation was eating my lunch!
I sort of feel the same way with Chris’ recent improvements. I’m excited but don’t know what I am doing! So today – I will simply trust my heart in His. That’s a nice place to be really if you ask me. Dennis Jernigan has a phrase in one of his songs that says, “I wish I could take your heart into my heart…” I wish I could for today. And only because of the peace and confidence that I’ve felt soar simply through trusting HIm one more time…