Today is another strange day for me. It’s funny how quickly the plate can fill! But it’s not so much Chris or his care right now. It’s all the other things that seem to be weighing in heavier right now. It’s all connected anyway – but he is getting better and slowly progressing still so that seems to just kind of be okay for now – it may also be that I have somewhat numbed up! And it could be the distractions of so many other things that seems to make it just be part of the package.
It’s interesting what kinds of things we can come up with when in a crunch. I never seem to get enough diapers from the state and so I have been spending a lot of money on them each month. I found that ordering them is cheaper by far than buying them at a local pharmacy. The state doesn’t supply wipes so that’s a basic expense. But yesterday when my shipment didn’t come in as it was supposed to I went out looking and found a better price! I am so thankful my shipment did not make it here on time. Sometimes delay can be a good thing huh?
I was pretty frustrated with the delay at first but when I found the bargain I was actually thankful for it. Now if I could switch that thinking over into some other areas…I’ve heard the cliche “delay doesn’t mean denial.” And I suppose it is mostly true. Probably for me delay means…impatience, waiting, frustration, and clinging to faith! lol!
On top of all the supplies and money issues there is this underlying tension right now with housing. We really need some changes. But it’s like when the plate is already full I have to fight going into shut-down mode or overload! I know the Lord will provide, but I also know an apartment manager isn’t going to wade through six inches of snow and come knocking on my door today either! Sometimes the effort is seriously needed! God does supply our needs – there’s no doubt about that! But we must get off our duff and so the things that are necessary too. We cannot just sit back and wait for Him to move without putting in some effort on our own.
So today I cannot get out. The aid didn’t come because of the snow. (that was planned since we knew the storm was coming in overnight!) I will spend today praying and seeking His direction. When I got this apartment it all worked out perfectly. I didn’t have to go from one complex to another searching. I waited, prayed and then came here and within a couple of weeks was in the apartment. I am praying I can find His wisdom once again and recieve His answers in the waiting.
Yesterday while I was doing my on-line teaching broadcast I said something that I must apply today. (that’s always a good idea!) I said too many times we take a path and try to get His word to match what we are doing. However, the proper sequencing should be that we seek out His path and His word and then make our steps match His. Today my meditation will be from Psalm 25:4-5…
Make me know Your ways O lord,
Teach me Your paths.
Lead me in Your truth and teach me,
For You are the God of my salvation;
For You I wait all the day.