So it all began to pile up yesterday. Chris was pretty sleepy and he literally has had no medications other than for his allergies in almost 3 days. So he’s doing good, which helps a lot. It helps that when he does wake up he is really awake. But when he sleeps it eats away at me sometimes.
Some stuff came up (very serious and legitimate stuff) and I may not get my day off on Sunday. I can deal with that as I am really not too burned out but would just really enjoy spending time with my parents, attending church with them and enjoying lunch at their house. But that will work out – or it won’t and I can’t worry about it.
Then last night I got on to do the live broadcast and had some crazy technological issues. I was using exactly what I used Tuesday and had no problems. It was crazy. I tried two or three different times and finally gave up. Figured no one is watching anyway…
And then I bottomed out. I can’t really explain it or tell you why because none of this is really big stuff. It’s just that sometimes when you are already under a load every little thing seems to weigh you down so much more. Last night I just decided to lose myself in work. I worked ChaCha! for about 3 hours. It kept my mind busy and helped me to not think about it at all.
Today I don’t know that the best way to deal with the frustration was to work. Although there’s some satisfaction in knowing I made a little extra money! This morning I was so sleepy I could barely read at all. I am guessing it’s mostly due to Chris waking me up more throughout the night the last few nights plus the added stress…so how do you work through days like that? You know, it’s not really anything too terrible it’s just a bunch of little things that eat away – or try to eat away at your peace.
I have to remind myself of His peace and provision one more time. As I was running this morning I spent that time in prayer. It’s amazing how He can just wash it all away! Just that slight shift in focus can bring me right back around. Just taking a few minutes (and miles) to talk to Him can erase the pain, clear the clouds and refresh the vision! It’s just crazy!
So today my goal is to just stay focused on what He has said, because really nothing else carries any weight with me anyway. And so I will wait for Him to speak, quietly listen to Him and rest in His words. No wonder the psalmist said The law of the Lord is perfect restoring the soul. That restoration is thorough and complete. Just hearing His voice can wipe the cares of life all away. Then in another Psalm he says This is my comfort in my affliction, that Your word has revived me.
He did not try to faith away his affliction or turmoil but let God’s word permeate his being and bring restoration and renewal! Just for thought’s sake here are a few verses out of Psalm 119 about His word, I will make them my meditation today!
My soul cleaves to the dust
revive me according to Your word. (v.25)
Behold I long for Your precepts
Revive me through Your righteousness. (v40)
Revive me according to Your lovingkindness,
so that I may keep the testimony of Your mouth. (v88)
I will never forget Your precepts,
For by them You have revived me!(v93)
Hear my voice according to Your lovingkindness,
Revive me O Lord, according to Your ordinances.(v 149)