Falling Through the Cracks

It seems Chris has fallen through the cracks once again. I remained calm and pleasant on the phone but after I hung up and started thinking about it I began to get very angry. First I have to deal with the fact that all of a sudden his therapy doctor decides to change her practice and will no longer be seeing patients. They were supposed to refer Chris to the neurological department of OU medicine. After I thought about it awhile I figured it really good be a very good thing. Teaching hospitals can have some of the best there is. And they know more how to deal with the brain injury too.

So then a few weeks back the dr’s office called me and said OU had his information but needed a referral from his primary care physician. The dr had been his pcp but now wasn’t so I had to figure out how to get a referral! She said she’d call me back to get the number of the dr who comes here to the house. So today I figured I better try to find out what the status is since I hadn’t heard from anyone…”I’m sorry” she said… Basically no one has done anything!

So Chris falls through the cracks once again! Ugh! Times like this I get so frustrated. I find forgiveness a long way away and wonder if we should have sued. The fact that the young man had the wreck isn’t the issue – it was the lack of insurance. Had he had his insurance up to date much of this story would have read differently! It’s difficult to find peace sometimes when you are having to fight every piece of the system to just get what Chris needs.

It makes me wonder though. I know the kid has a difficult time dealing with the fact that he caused the wreck that hurt Chris. And legally we could sue and even get a judgement for like 100 or 200 a month to be paid to help cover expenses. I just don’t want to mess up his life anymore than what he’s already having to carry…but you’d think his parents would call to check on Chris or you think he would check on him now and then. And he has done that 2 or 3 times over the last 2+ years. Of course when we were in the hospital he was going to walk through this thing with Chris and help him get moving again…words uttered in haste under great pain…rarely playout once the pain subsides.

I remember the day of the wreck raying for his parents. I realized they had recieved that same make your blood run cold and drop to your knees phone call that morning that I had. While I was catching connecting flights trying to get to Chris I spent some of that time concerned about them and how they were handling their son’s injuries. Then after he left the hospital 6 days later not a word from them…ever…

I dont’ want to be angry. My heart says to forgive and I really don’t think I hold it all against them I just don’t understand the lack of responsibility. Just a phone call How is Chris doing? could change so much…

So I have to take myself back to the truth that God allowed this to happen. It’s only a test! He wants to see what comes out when I am pressured. Will I lash out at innocent people? Will I get hard and angry? No on both counts…will I still think I should have sued? probably…but I just don’t have it in me to fight that one or to hurt anyone else in the process.

So I have to go back to letting Him hold me, getting still and quiet before Him and finding that place of rest once again. I crawl up in Daddy God’s lap and let his gentle touch wipe away today’s pain. Will it come back? Probably when I get too far away from His lap agian! And I’ll just crawl right back up here one more time and rest!

I guess falling through the cracks isn’t so bad if you land in the lap of God!

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