My head and heart are so busy this morning. There’s just so much going on! And it doesn’t help that Chris didn’t sleep well last night. He kept waking me up… but the positive side of that is that he is using his voice to wake me up! He is so awake now – but like I said yesterday I have that underlying fear that he will go back into the funk again…

I feel bad for getting frustrated. That usually comes when I don’t know what’s wrong. I’m a mom and I want to fix whatever is bothering him, but I am not too good at playing this game I’ve come to call guess and check. You know, I have to guess what is wrong and fix that to see if he settles down or not. If not – I have to guess again! I’m really not good at it in the middle of the night!

We have a pretty busy week this week and that always helps my morale. I don’t know what it does for his; but it helps me out a lot. Home health comes tomorrow for their updates. I have a list of questions for them ready too! It’s all just routine for them. I think a lot of the nursing field (not all by any means) fall into just having a job. I used to work with teachers like that – they forgot about the students and true concern for them and just came to work. I used to tell them to find somewhere else to collect a check if they were not concerned for the students….nurses and other medical professionals can become rather disconnected and just do their job too. But that’s kind of sad if you ask me.

Ministers can be the same way and that’s really sad. I hope that in all the ministeral contacts I have I always remember that it’s about the people not the name of my ministry…

I’m just sort of blah…this morning. I don’t do well on very little sleep. In my studies this morning I was studying for a lesson I’m going to do via skype. The ministry in Pakistan wants me to help encourage a hunger for the word and motivation to stay in the word. I so enjoy reading Psalm 19 and Psalm 119. They are filled with reasons to stay in the word and all the benefits He brings. I can’t imagine going through any kind of furnace and not having the word there to carry, encourage and sustain you.

Early on while we were still staying in the ICU waiting area my heart began searching for scripture to sustain and carry me through. I think the main one then as I have shared already was Psalm 121. I realized that my help comes only from the Lord and not the medical profession! I am very appreciative of those who have worked with Chris all along, and they have each played a huge role in where he is now. But it is God who sustains! It is He who keeps! It is the Lord who carrys me and takes me through and walks with me.

He is also my provider. He has provided so well throughout this whole ordeal. From opening up ministry opportunities to letting me find creative ways to work online it’s been amazing to watch Him provide all along the way.

So that’s the sustaining thought for the day – He is my provider. He is my help. Who or what is there to fear from there? Selah!

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