As you can imagine I am very emotional about Congresswoman Giffords’ situation. I hear so many of the same terms we heard when Chris was in SICU. I know how optimistic the family must be; we were so excited at each step forward too – and still are! It’s so similar – looking for a response, waiting for their first breath on their own, each little step is documented. But I am so concerned for the family as I know everything will now be measured differently. Time and life will have a definitive line called before and after.
The struggle they face could look something like ours and for that I am so sorry for the family. I know how they struggle as she fights for her life. People are all gathered there to encourage, share and provide support. We had that for a few weeks too. Then people will get busy again. One advantage they will have is that the government will be able to provide the very best of care for her and because of her high profile life she will likely get top notch everything! We were not so lucky on this end.
I think of our own journey with Chris. There are times of pure elation when he shows marked signs of responding or improving. Then there are days where he just still wants to sleep where emotions have to be scraped up so the day can continue…for whatever reason. The after doesn’t seem as bright as the before. ..and I miss him once again…but I fear he will never be who he was before – but no matter – I won’t either!
And so changes come whether or not trauma or tragedy is the catalyst. We change as we age and our choices play such a huge role in all that. It’s a conscious choice I make to not be angry…to not be bitter. But I do have my days that I wish I could punch somebody…something. But the stark realization that nothing I can do can bring Chris back settles me down…and so I wait some more.
I have prayed much for the Giffords’ family. It is not an easy journey that is before them. I wonder had the accident victim been me rather than Chris would anyone have cared enough to take care of me? Not that it matters…but I wonder. Oh well, empty thoughts…
It seems to be a constant thing to train my thoughts to go back to the Word… He will never leave us or forsake us. I go back to that a lot…even though there are times I wonder where He is…does He hear…why doesn’t He act. Of course He is acting – He is just not doing it like I want Him to! lol! Isnt’ that usually the problem? God is really answering and moving but because it’s not the answer or the movement we expect we think He’s ignoring us! That was the very reason so many missed Jesus brief visit to earth to begin with He didn’t come like they thought. He didn’t do the things they thought He was going to do…their way…!
Well, today I am determined to find what He is doing rather than hoping He will fit in my box of activities! Holy Spirit is constantly working to breing peace, comfort and instruction. I wonder how many times I miss what He is doing because I am looking for something else? Yeah, it’s time to discipline my flesh and become quiet once again. Be still and know that I am God. Hm… I think that will be today’s scripture…there’s such power in just being still. Getting ourselves quiet before HIm can be quite a chore (at least it is for me!). But Isaiah says In returning and rest you will be saved, in quietness and trust is your strength.
And there ya go! Talked myself back to resting and relying on Him! Come join me in a quiet time – meditating on Him rather than situations! It’ll be worth the trip and the time! He promises us His strength – and I need that today to get through.