Learning to Trust

I really don’ t like feeling like this. I am facing a long weekend. There has to be some ways to help my self out! With plenty of articles lined up waiting to be written and a brand new site that I can work as much as possible, I am hoping to keep myself busy. And of course there are several things that need to be done for Dove’s Fire as well. I have plenty to do the chore is keeping my mind on working and taking care of Chris and not letting the weekend get to me!

The new praise services that I am doing every morning seem to really be helping too. I’ll do them on the weekends as well -He is worthy of praise every day! I may try to take a large portion of Sunday off of other stuff though. Trying to decide if I should just kind of take that break once a week – planning on just reading and/or studying. If I am not careful I can sit in front of the computer for much of the day except for when I am doing something specific with Chris.

Chris has been really sleepy the last few days and that always bothers me. But I also see some improvements even though he seems so tired. He is moving more and more on his own. My trouble with that is trying to figure out how much to push him and how much to hope for. Just about the time I feel like we’re ready to add more to his accomplishments it seems he shuts down on me! I have to wonder if that’s actually a good thing. Like we get something new turned back on in his brain so then he has to rest! Who knows!

Since I have brought him home I haven’t been able to go to church. That really doesn’t bother me too much. There are some neighbors that I may be able to start a Bible study with…that’s still in the works though. Anyway the Jehovah’s Witnesses found me already! They have been by about three times and I haven’t let them in we just “visit” at the door. The Mormons came too, the first night I brough Chris home from Valir. I was pretty stressed out at the time and they haven’t been back. I guess I scared them off. I’m finding that is a typical response as no one knows quite what to do with us since we don’t fit their mold!

Finally this week a church here in Norman “found me.” I am guessing that they searched for people in Norman because I don’t know them. But they sent me an invitation to come to their Bible study on Wednesday nights. It was kind of funny because they said something about not neglecting my Spiritual man and joining them. I sent back a message and assured them that my spirit man was not being neglected but because of the circumstances (which I very briefly described) I could not attend – but would love to if I could!

So we exchanged a few messages back and forth and they put Chris on their prayer list too…said something about coming by one day. Well, I haven’t heard from them again of course. But I was wondering what the church will do now – since they found us. Will they be His hands extended or just go on living in their box? It is so easy for us (and I am so guilty!) to think that inside our church is the church in totality. God is broadening my view on this. I am even trying to find some ways to reach out of this box I live in. And I do have a couple of ideas brewing too.

While living in this furnace I have been learning so much and I am sure that I will continue to learn lots more! My prayer is that I keep learning how to truly wait on Him. And when I say that I am not saying that I am only waiting on Him to just come rescue me and make it all go away. That is not my expectation – although I must say I had that at the first. My waiting is a watching Him and learning how to move with Him unhindered by circumstances. His eternal plans for me and Chris have not changed…so I stay close to Him and learn more of His ways – and try to act like Him, talk like Him, walk like Him…

When I can get my emotions in check and watch Him closely it’s pretty exciting to know that nothing can change His plan! He knew all of this about me and Chris before He deposited His words in us. And His word does not return void. Somehow there’s a peace I find when I can rest in that…knowing that Holy Spirit lives in me to bring about His will unrestrained by the world’s physical circumstance…

…just learning to trust!

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