It’s funny to me how I can be borderline depressed one day and so upbeat another. Yesterday was just rough once again and I can’t even say why. But after some prayer time and a half a dozen cookies or more I realized I was trying to “comfort” myself. And in the process of the day I figured out that I was actually just simply feeling sorry for myself.
I do not want to walk through this part of the journey in pity. I chose to care for Chris at home just like this and I want to go on in confidence that I made the right decision and that we are still in His hands…
I am rereading Andrew Murray’s Waiting on God. It is such a wonderful book and I am finding it very helpful during this trying time. It helps me remember that those who wait for Him will not be ashamed! And just being reminded of that helps me mentally navigate through another day.
I really don’t know what people do – or how they cope – when going through something like this without knowing Him. He is indeed my only strength and He has even been my song in the night throughout all this ordeal. I am so glad that He is still quick to correct me when I overstep His boundaries. This is all part of my refocusing on Him.
I have spent a little time looking back over the last two years and have seen His handiwork. For one He has literally connected me with people all over the world. Chris has been prayed for via skype from Germany, Pakistan and India. We have brothers in Pakistan who pray for him every single day. They have been such an encouragement to me during this journey. Always reminding me that He will raise Chris up.
I had nothing when the accident occurred. I never dreamed I would have an apartment and it would be full of so many things. He has surely blessed and reestablished me as He has begun the restoration process in my life.
I cannot spend the time here to go on with all He’s done but sometimes I just need to remind myself! Thanks for listening!