Several years ago I wrote a song that says:
I can’t take one step without You
I can’t take one breath without You
and I can’t live a single day unless I know
My heart is resting in Your hands.
Well, today is one of those days that I must simply trust my heart is resting in His hands. Actually, I trust my heart is resting in His heart! It’s not always easy to trust God through the short stuff, but when it goes on for over two years it seems very difficult sometimes to just pick up a foot and take that next step to make it through the day. That’s where I am today.
I know what God has promised but I sure feel my grip being loosened by the day to day. Even though Chris still seems to be making small improvements I have to wonder if this is what the rest of my “life” looks like. I look at my son who has become a stranger. I look at the pictures I have up in the room and miss him so very much…and even though he is right here with me, he is so very far away…and my heart cries once again.
I know what God has said, but even though my heart holds on to that promise, I must deal with today. And today my son does nothing for himself. Today he will need to be fed and changed and cared for completely. He will not tell me he loves me today…
…and so we wait and try somehow to hold on to what God has said and just put one step in front of another.