For real, today has been very back and forth for me. Yesterday was difficult because Chris slept all day. But I can work a lot and keep my mind off it and give him a day. This morning he woke up doing the same thing. Then he wouldn’t eat for me! That’s when I get so frustrated. I want to push him to eat more but with the brain injury that just doesn’t work!
I get worried because supplies haven’t come yet this month and formula is low. Then I am stressed when he won’t eat. I go ahead and give him some formula in his tube feeding. This frustrates me as well even though it’s best. I want him to eat!!! And I want him to eat good, but until he’s ready — he ain’t gonna! So I have to wait…some more! 🙂
But then when I am sinking into the mire and fighting off the despair of the longevity of the situation, he does something spontaneous! I am putting him in bed and I asked him if he knew how pretty it was outside. I said, “It’s beautiful! Would you like to go out for a walk before you go to bed? Nod your head yes or no.” And he looks straight at me and smiles! Man, I love it! So now I am soaring!! It was totally unsolicited!!
A walk outside is good for both of us I find out. He looks around at everything and all the sleepy is far away! Yeah! Mission accomplished!
That’s what it’s like a lot of times for me. Just about the time I think it’s not getting any better he steps up and does something amazing! That’s the deal with TBI, it’s back and forth and you can’t look at how far you have to go – you have to look at how far you’ve come.
This is probably a good life lesson…stay out of worrying about all that has to happen – it hasn’t happened yet! Keep focused on what you know and what you’ve already come through….Yeah, that’s it!