What a night! Oh, we’ve had far rougher ones that’s for sure. Chris seems uncomfortable but it’s so hard to know. He prety much moaned most of the night. I had to change him more often too, so it was lots less sleep than I’ve been getting. The thing is though that he’s so vocal when he’s uncomfortable. And just about the time I was getting frustrated I turned it to thanksgiving because he’s at least attempting to use his voice! What a great problem to have, he’s making noises all night long!
The frustration for some might not be understood. However, as a mom, I want to help him be comfortable. If he is hurting or not resting I want to be able to fix the problem so that he can rest. That’s where the frustration lies, in that I cannot find out what to change to make him happy!
His right hand being so drawn up is a source of frustration too. So I figure I will increase my concentration on that area. I have been more diligent about moving it around for him each day. He does not like this, I am sure it is painful. It breaks my heart to know it hurts him but I must do it so he doesn’t lose the use of that hand. Last night I put the roll in his hand that helps hold the fingers out. It’s like using a slow stretch method. He moaned the entire time it was in his hand…and this breaks my heart. The good thing there was that he actually got mad at me. I took the roll out and was trying to explain one more time and he tried to take a swing at me! That’s actually improvement!
It’s so frustrating trying to figure out how to help him. And I guess no matter all my efforts, it’s still just going to progress at the same speed! I cannot force the brain to plug everything back in. No matter how much I want it and him to be better, it is happening on its own time and not mine.
So I have to come back to the promise and faith once again. There is much to be said about waiting…and waiting…and waiting! And there is much to be said about HOW we wait! So I must relinquish frustration and learn to rest in Him and His timing once again. That’s how we wait…allowing Him to work in His timing. It works much better that way as He can see all of time all at one time while I can only see this one little piece I occupy.
So once again I rest in Him, and wait for Him. Learning to be patient in the process – all in HIs time.