I started this blog to encourage people who are going through tough situations. My thinking was that as each day brings new struggles and I have to talk myself back to faith in those things, others might be encouraged by my discussions with myself! I don’t know for sure if it’s had that effect or not, but I know it has helped me (not a reason I started it!). I am able to put my emotions here and just walk away…
Then there are time through the day when doubt starts to rise and I have to push myself back to faith once again. Times like last night while I am tube feeding Chris and just looking at him resting there. I see his right hand all drawn up and think I am not doing enough to help. I glanced at the pictures of him I have over his bed and I am swallowed up with grief once again. Oh how I miss my son!
I wonder how long this journey will be as it has been over 2 years already. I realized last night this is our third Thanksgiving since the wreck. Even though it’s just over 2 years that makes it feel so much longer! I really thought we’d be back “out and about” by now. I never dreamed…
Each day is so different even within our little schedule. He responds differently to different things. Overall he’s doing real well, it’s just so slow! I miss things, like when I’m putting him in bed in the evening I realize I didn’t brush his teeth, things like that. And then I feel so badly; like I’m not doing a good job!
I keep telling myself that the Bible is full of wait-ers! Joseph had dreams when he was a child and did not see them fulfilled for many years. Abraham waited for 25 years for the birth of his promise. Daniel lived 70 years in Babylonian captivity waiting for the promise of the end. That makes my two years here look pretty small really!
There are many other stories in the Bible of wait-ers. Isaiah said that those who wait on the Lord will renew their strength. He also stated in chapter 30 that God is waiting on us to wait on Him so that He can be gracious and show us mercy. Waiting on God is a very special place of intimacy between just you and your God. There’s a closeness there that cannot be described. Waiting on Him incorporates a lot of trust, and that lends itself on into faith. So here I wait for Him once again. I can find my strength in Him and strength to make it through another day.
Come join the wait-ers! I’m sure it’s going to be worth our time!