I cannot believe that it’s been two years since Chris’ wreck. What a journey this has been! It was November 8, 2008 when I got the parent’s dreaded call. That call that saps your strength and breath immediately as the numbing begins. You can’t think, can’t plan, I think it’s probably a mild state of shock. Thank God for people who were close by who could book a flight for me.
I have very mixed emotions today. On one hand I am so glad for how far Chris has come in this two years! But on the other I really thought we’d back to “normal” by now too. It seems the rest of the world got to go on with their lives while we are stuck in this cave of “recovery” just waiting for progress.
We’ve been lots of places in this two years. Hospitals, nursing homes, rehabs…and each has played their role for that piece of time. two years ago today I couldn’t have even imagined caring for him myself in our own home. I hadn’t even had my own home for two years! But here we are with him progressing slightly forward each passing day. I guess we’ve both progressed! 🙂
I’ve heard lots of things from the medical profession. One doctor said you look at the one year mark and that’s about all you’re gonna get. Well, we’ve already proven that wrong! He’s come a very long ways in this last year! Another said that you cannot determine anything about a severe head injury for three years. That is both consoling and scary. On one hand it tells me medically there’s still time; on the other it means he could be 2/3 of the way through and I think he’s got further than that to go.
I won’t fake anything – it’s been a very rough journey. Sometimes faith soars and I am so excited about what God’s going to do; other times questions and doubts overcome and lead me down the dark path of wondering. And most of the time these days I just miss Chris. This was not the way life was supposed to “play out.” He’s supposed to be leading a band somewhere or be a famous drummer traveling the world “playing the gospel on the drums.” That’s what God put in his little eight year old heart so many years ago.
But we are here on this path, clinging to all the hope we can find to make another day.
So on this two year anniversary I must take time to see all that has been accomplished in this time. For one, Chris has come so far. He is eating, standing, moving more all the time, and making lots and lots of noise with his vocal chords! He lets me know when he doesn’t like something and I think yesterday I saw a look of pride when he was able to pull himself up out of the chair using his own strength. I wonder what he thinks, how much he’s aware of all that has transpired.
I have tried to surround myself with positive people. I joined a support group that has been so helpful during all this time. That’s where I found several “success stories” that were encouraging. One kid always says, “Don’t believe the doctors, they don’t have the last word, God does!” And sometimes I have held to that thought no matter how weakly!
I am actually pretty encouraged today by what I have been seeing in Chris. Knowing people are praying for him all over the world is a wonderful support! But God gave us promises before all this happened. I had a dream where Chris and some others were in a wreck and Chris was being sucked under a rock under water. He did not say a word but just looked at me. I grabbed his hand and began to pull him out. I remember thinking in the dream how difficult it was to pull against the flow of the water and keep him from being taken under. Then I got him out, put him on the bank and they all went on down the road. I had no idea…
Then the angelic visitor that came to my daddy and told him that Chris had honored his father and mother (and he has) so he would be honored with “many good years.”
These were both unsolicited promises! Those are what I cling to as I push Chris toward progress each day. The frustration comes when I don’t see what I think is enough progress daily. With brain injuries it goes so back and forth. It’s like he can go all the way out and show what he’s capable of (those are very encouraging days) and then he settles back to where he really is on the journey to recovery (very discouraging days!).
But overall today is not bad so far. I rejoice in how far Chris has come in this two years. Two years ago today we didn’t know if he would live. At one point we were told that he would not ever wake up, just be a vegetable the rest of his life. I love it when progress proves the doctors wrong! I am thankful for each step Chris has taken. And although I do get tired, and I cannot see the end of the struggle I must encourage myself to make one more day for Chris’ sake. Who knows what he might do today?
One thing is sure in all of this. I could not have made it without the Lord. He has been my rock and my stay! I know He has carried me many times when I could not go on one more step. (I have fewer and fewer of those days it seems.) His strength has been my fortress and Holy Spirit has truly been revealed in me as the comforter He is! I can truly say, “If it had not been for the Lord on my side, where would I be? If God be for us who (or what) can be against us?”
We have His promise of restoration and wholeness…no time to quit believing now! 2 years down….