Well so far this morning I have had the extremes of about everything! I look at Chris and wonder when and even if he will be okay. My mind battles against me with thoughts about how long it’s been since the injury occurred and the likelihood of a full recovery. I also battle thoughts about if this is the way it will be for the rest of my life. Is this it?
And while I know down in my heart God’s promises, I still struggle with how to deal with this from day to day. I mean come on, it’s staring me in the face. My sore muscles won’t let me forget what a day has to offer! I have to choose to face the day head on and give it all I have one more time. After that, there’s the sleepless nights. I must put my hand to what is in front of me without considering emotions or what might or might not happen tomorrow.
The struggle here I think is that it has been so long. Time has a way of wearing us down. But I must take my mind back to scriptures and remember that we can read a passage very quickly without consideration of how long it took in real time.
Abraham waited 25 years for the fulfillment of his promise. Joseph waited many years. Daniel had a 70 year wait. I feel so weak when I compare my situation to theirs. They did not let go of His promises no matter how situations fought against their minds. You know they had to give some thought to the when of God’s promises. Abraham more than likely had to explain why he changed his name from father to the father of a great multitude when he had no children to show for it. He walked around childless for years proclaiming that he was the father of many.
Job held on through a very serious illness. He also lost all of his children, his crops, his sustenance and his pride. He had nothing but a wife who nagged him to curse God and die. But he still held on.
So today, my heart tells my brain to deal with the day and shut up! Today is a day in this journey of faith. Today must be dealt with and handled the best way it can be. But it’s not the end of His promise. And there ya go… I think I can go one more day clinging to Him in this furnace of life.