Wasting today…

I started this blog to share how I find faith each day although I am going through the fire. I thought it might help others who are in tough or tight situations be able to talk themselves into faith as well. Then there are days like today where nothing comes to mind. Really? Really.

I’m kinda blah-ed out. It’s hard to describe really, and it’s unusual for me since I usually live in hyper drive! I do not lack faith and don’t feel that I need to go looking for it. I know He’s with me and I find great comfort today just knowing that Holy Spirit is here to teach me, and to comfort me.

While I was running this morning (thank God once again for the aid who comes!!) I was thinking about my goals. It kinda struck me funny that I was even thinking about that. I can’t even see what’s at the end of the day, how could I set goals? Then I had a minister from Kenya ask me this morning what I was planning on doing when Chris is better. I had some immediate answers come up out of my spirit. It was kinda funny since I really can’t see that far, which troubles me.

But as I was running I was thinking about how I set goals for my running. My intent is a minimum of 10 to 12 miles per week. And along with that about 20 miles on the bike. That one’s pretty easy since I run my errands on the bike! I was sort of congratulating myself on reaching these goals, especially since I never know what a day will bring. Most mornings I just want to sit, drink coffee and stare at the wall. But I get my running shoes on and head out the door since it is my only chance for the day.

Planning my goals for running has actually become a big part of me over the last couple of years. I started running while Chris was in the hospital. I figured I didn’t have to pay for a gym membership and I could run anywhere we might end up. As it happened I have now run 11 races. (and won third place in two of them!) It’s been so good for me to release tension and burn up excessive energy caused by stress. And I found out I love it!

I set goals for the amount of miles I desire to run for the week. I will continue to bump it up a little at a time. My real goal is to run a marathon. It’s kind of like, if you can do that, you can do anything! I’m probably going to try to sign up for a half marathon (only 13.1 miles) in May. That gives me plenty of time to work on distance and speed.

But I have goals in other areas as well. I have to have several each week to get newsletters and other writing done. I work on getting music ready for the live broadcast. Which starting that again was just a goal not long ago, and now I am doing it weekly once again.

Living without goals is like shooting in the dark and hoping you hit something; you don’t know what, but something!

If I can assess my present situation and the load I am having to operate from beneath to come up with some goals I am doing good. Actually, setting goals even if it’s just running is very helpful. It is also beneficial if I can have a sense of success about something….anything – it helps my overall attitude!

I am thinking if I can function here, in the furnace, in the cave, then I should be able to function anywhere else I may find myself. It’s about hanging on with that last bit of strength and believing He’ll see me through. Some of the writing that I have been able to do is kinda what got pushed out when the crush was on! But as I set new goals for myself and begin to reach for them I am finding it easier and easier. I can’t wait to see what He has in store for me…

So I encourage myself to reach just a little further…there’s no telling what He wants to do with me from here. I think I’ll stop looking for tomorrow…or I’ll only be wasting today…

  1. #1 by Connie on October 21, 2010 - 1:35 am

    Good one! We read something today by Robert Morris: Your purpose gives you direction, not specifics. His point was that we can begin to recognize and move toward our purpose by identifying our giftings and taking our place in the Body. He says we don’t know the specifics until we get there. Like Joseph in Gen. 45:3-8. Tied in with your blog today; sooooooooooo God must be trying to tell me something once again. Hugs to you AND Chris.


    • #2 by Jeanie Olinger on October 21, 2010 - 2:18 am

      Glad you got a little something out of the blog… I just figured I’d need to turn my vision outward eventually, and it might as well be today…
      Joseph is an awesome story about believing God through adversity. It was literally years (and years…and years…) before He saw God bring it to pass. He must have stayed intimate with Him though. Because when his brothers came he showed them total forgiveness when he said, “What you meant for evil, God meant for good.” That had to come from a closeness with the Father. Otherwise he’d have torched ’em!!


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