I have never doubted God’s ability to heal. As one man put it, I don’t have to go far to find a miracle. People in my immediate family have been healed of some big stuff, such as Leukemia. The trouble hasn’t been the if God can heal. It’s been the will He heal Chris? And for some reason He has not reached down His hand and just touched Chris in an instantaneous way. I do not doubt that He can, I don’t understand why He won’t.
Believe me, I have had some intense moments of total anger at God. I simply haven’t understood why this happened to Chris. And although I truly believe God will use him in a powerful way, it does not make today any easier to deal with. I still have to do everything for Chris and trust that one day he’ll be able to do it for himself once again. But it moves so slow!
It comes down to not so much do I believe God, but do I trust Him? Can I look at today while not worrying about the tomorrows and just deal with what He’s placed in my hand for today? That’s difficult sometimes. But I am learning to just trust Him.
Job said a couple of interesting things. He said though God slay me, yet will I trust Him. Can I trust Him when everything is not going my way? Can I trust Him when the bank account is running on “E”? Will I continue to trust Him when He doesn’t answer me with the answer I want to hear? I have to say that I can say “Yes!” now. But it wasn’t always so.
Sometimes the faithers try to put undue pressure on us like if we are going through we do not have faith. Tell that to Paul. I’ve heard it said that when you are in the perfect will of God you are safe. Paul was beaten for his faith. Sorry, that doesn’t sound real “safe” to me! His soul and spirit were safe in God’s hands, but his body took a beating. Yet Paul continued to trust, through ship wreck and thrown into prison. These are things that the faith-o-meter of the church would say indicate his lack of such. But, his faith in God was not shaken by the things he went through.
It’s too easy to look at someone and think they lack faith because of their circumstances. Who are we to condemn another man’s servant? (Romans 14:4) We can never judge the faith of the heart by what we see. If we use the faith-o-meter even Jesus would fall short as He endured the cross. Faithers (not real faith) indicate by their teaching that He if He had faith He would not have faced such a trial, He should have been able to avoid it.
But I am finding that in much adversity, faith abounds. It’s all about learning to trust Him no matter what is dealt you by life. And that takes me to the other statement by Job Shall we indeed accept good from God and not accept adversity? We cannot measure faith by the adversity at hand.
So the question to be asked here is what comes out when the squeeze is on? I have made lots of mistakes in this trial of faith. I have been angry, frustrated, tried to give up, tired, short tempered, impatient…and the list could go on! But I have also found that in the squeeze i have a new level of trust in the Lord.
My heart is set on Him and I will not waver. He will carry us through. In the furnace I have found that He is there with us. He won’t leave me or abandon me but he will walk with me. He may not keep it from happening but nothing escapes His eyes…His eye is on us and though He slay me, yet will I trust Him.