What’s My Deepest Desire?

My head can be most biggest trouble sometimes. For one thing I am a super logical and analytical person. That means I can ask you forty-nine questions before you finish your statement! It is a bother when I am reading too. Here’s what I mean. I am reading this morning in John 15. I am enjoying reading all about how we are to love His word, how He abides in us and then I come across verse 7. It says that if we abide in Him and His word is in us then we can ask “whatever we wish” and it will be done.

This sends my mind in a whirlwind of questions. Obviously my “wish” is for Chris to be better, to be healed and whole. I miss him! So I wonder, am I not abiding in Him? Do I not have His word abiding in me? Are there some unstated stipulations like, as long as we wish what He wants? Are my wishes wrong?

My mind goes to another familiar scripture found in Psalm 37:4 it says, “Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart.” Am I doing something wrong? Oh come on, these are all the questions that our religious minds won’t allow us to ask!

So then I have to wonder what are my desires, other than Chris to be whole again? Ultimately I want to please the Lord. That is my deepest desire. This crucible I live in has been where He placed me for whatever reason he had. Job could have prayed all day for his healing but until the process was through on his insides and for his friends, it would not have mattered. However, he was finally healed. Perhaps not the way he thought and maybe not when he wanted it for sure! But he was healed.

Being in a painful situation does not mean we are not pleasing to the Lord. It is not an indicator of the presence of sin. God said Job was upright before Him. Jesus was perfect and He faced the crucifixion. As a matter of fact, He wanted to skip the pain of the flesh as well. But His love for the Father brought out His true submission as He prayed in the garden, “Not my will but thine.”

That is what my heart has to come back to as well. I cannot manipulate God (isn’t that a funny thought though?) into doing what I want, nor can I talk HIm into my timing and out of His! But I can pray that my wishes line up with His desires… letting Him give me those desires as I yield to Him in the furnace.


  1. #1 by Pam DeCrane on October 3, 2010 - 1:54 pm

    Thank you…..


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