I am not depressed or down. I am going through though! It’s been almost two years since Chris was injured. This is indeed the longest thing I have ever gone through in my life. Even when I was sick with that “mysterious” illness in 1986 it didn’t last this long. It’s not like I can go home at night and be away for a little bit. For me there is no escape. I am here pretty much 24/7. I am indeed in the furnace. That is not a complaint by any means. I started this blog to hopefully encourage others who may be going through any kind of fiery furnace in their lives as well. My point is that faith can be found in the fire.
Just because we are facing difficult situations and even ones that seem to go on forever it doesn’t mean that we are faith-less. I hope to share here my struggles that I am facing, but the outcome is always faith! No matter how many crazy thoughts or fears I have my heart always can drag me back into faith…and faith leads the way to hope.
So this morning during my studies I stumbled across a scripture to help me today. I hope it will encourage others as well. I was reading Psalm 94 when the following verses stood out to me:
If the Lord had not been my help,
my soul would have soon dwelt in silence.
If I would say, “my foot has slipped”
Your lovingkindness O Lord will hold me up.
When my anxious thoughts multiply within me
Your consolations delight my soul.
This struck a chord with me. I have not remained silent even in the furnace. I have stayed in prayer and study so that I can clearly hear Him so that I can continue writing His heart. The weeks I am totally under and can’t seem to get my head up I don’t do a newsletter. It is sometimes a struggle to lay aside where I am to hear Him for others. But I have not been silent! Without His help I would have sunk down into the abyss!
I certainly have many, many, many, too many anxious thoughts! And it’s not just about Chris and his recovery. There’s all the basic decisions that have to be made every day just like you! Which bills to pay, what to fix to eat, and where I will make a little money today…are all in the mix. See lots of anxious thoughts.
But in the anxiety of dealing with everyday life in the furnace my heart is comforted by His words. Somehow as I keep my nose in the Bible and my face towards His each item gets taken care of. I am finding that the seeking is sometimes the answer. My heart is to continue seeking HIm with all my heart. I have not changed my mind because of the situation. And the funny thing is, I don’t think He’s changed His either! Not about me. Not about Chris…His original intent is still intact. I don’t know how he will pull it off…but He’s God and I am sure He has a plan… and this comforts my soul today even though I am still in the furnace.